


The Apology

by justkimberley



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Confessions, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Slight Angst?, T.J. explains everything, fix-it 3x13, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 08:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18116885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justkimberley/pseuds/justkimberley
Summary: TJ knows he messed up, but he doesn't know how to explain the situation to Cyrus. When TJ finally comes up with a way to apologize, will Cyrus accept it, or will TJ lose him?This is a fix-it fic for 3x13. This is not how I think the actual apology will go, I have literally no clue how that will go, but please enjoy anyways.





	The Apology

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written based off a prompt I got on tumblr. So... for Anon, I present to you "TJ apologizing about the costume + maybe hand holding?"  
> Thank you to everyone who read/kudos/commented on my previous fics, I hope you all enjoy!

            Deciding to do the costume with Kira was the worst decision that TJ had ever made in his life. He had never regretted anything more than that decision. The face that Cyrus made when he saw TJ and Kira’s costume? That face would haunt TJ for the rest of his life, he was sure of it. TJ needed to apologize and make things up to Cyrus, he didn’t think he could deal with Cyrus not being a part of his life anymore. Cyrus was his best friend. It didn’t help that TJ had a huge crush on him either, but their friendship was what TJ cared about the most. He could deal with Cyrus not liking him back as long as they were still friends. The problem was, he didn’t know if Cyrus could ever forgive him for this.

            Cyrus had avoided TJ ever since Costume Day on Friday. And yeah, it was only Sunday, but TJ was feeling very bad about himself and very Cyrus deprived. TJ had tried to talk to Cyrus on Friday to explain what happened, but whenever Cyrus had seen TJ in the hallways, he had immediately turned and walked in the opposite direction. No matter how hard he tried, TJ could not get to Cyrus to talk to him. That may have actually been for the best, because TJ had no clue how to explain his decision to Cyrus. At least not without telling him some secrets that he wasn’t sure if he was ready to share. By the time TJ had gotten home on Friday, he was so nervous about the possibility of Cyrus refusing to answer his texts, or getting a message saying that he had been blocked, that he just… didn’t text him.

            That probably wasn’t the best course of action, but usually Cyrus was the one who helped TJ sort through his irrational thoughts. Without Cyrus, everything seemed like a Very Big Deal™, and as the time kept passing, TJ realized that if he was going to make this up to Cyrus, it had to be amazing. It had to be better than any apology he had done in the past. The pressure to make this amazing apology continued building as the weekend passed until it felt insurmountable. Not to mention the many ways TJ had thought of to apologize to Cyrus weren’t good enough. Cyrus deserved the world, and TJ couldn’t give it to him.

            On Sunday night, TJ finally remembered what he used to do to help himself think through complicated situations before Cyrus: baking. TJ loved baking, and its methodical nature. It always put TJ into a mental space where everything seemed much simpler. So, TJ headed down to the kitchen, pulled out a recipe for chocolate chocolate chip muffins, and got to work.

            As TJ baked, he slipped into a trance of sorts. He was following the recipe, going through the motions of measuring the ingredients and preparing them as instructed, but he was also sorting through his thoughts. As TJ emptied a measuring cup full of flour into the bowl, he realized that he had subconsciously started baking Cyrus’ favourite muffins. TJ smiled sadly to himself at this realization and continued measuring and adding ingredients. While TJ was mixing up the finished batter, he finally came up with an idea that seemed good enough to maybe, possibly, garner Cyrus’ forgiveness. TJ would give Cyrus the muffins. Yeah, TJ probably could have come up with that sooner, but he had not been thinking clearly since Kira had convinced him to do Costume Day with her. TJ shuddered as he recalled that day.

            He had told Kira twice that he was doing a costume with Cyrus. Twice! And still she was asking him one more time, “So you’d rather do a costume with _Cyrus_ , than with me?” TJ thought that was a weird question. Obviously he would rather do it with Cyrus, he’s known Cyrus way longer than he’s known Kira, he’s not even friends with Kira. These thoughts all passed through his head while he told her that he was set to go with Cyrus. She seemed to finally accept that TJ was going with Cyrus but, as Kira started to walk away, she turned and added, “Okay, have fun with that,” in a knowing tone, with a stupid smirk on her face, and TJ finally understood what she meant. She had caught on to his crush. TJ didn’t know how, or when, but he knew that she had. He also knew that she didn’t have a great track record for being nice. Buffy and Cyrus had told him that much, so TJ was suddenly very worried about what might happen if he didn’t do the costume with Kira. He didn’t know her that well, but he feared the worst. What if she told the Cyrus he was gay? What if she told Cyrus that TJ liked him? What if she told the whole school that TJ liked Cyrus? TJ couldn’t deal with that, at least not right now. He wanted to make the decisions of _who_ knew _what_ on his own terms, not Kira’s. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions, but he figured it was better to be safe than sorry, so he caught up to Kira and told her he would do the costume with her. It wasn’t even a good costume, but TJ didn’t dare tell her that. She was unpredictable, and he didn’t want her to get angry with him.

            TJ placed the muffins in the oven and realized that he would need to explain himself to Cyrus along with giving him the muffins. There was no way that Cyrus would accept just muffins as an apology. TJ needed to figure out some words too.

            TJ was struck once again with his original dilemma around telling Cyrus why he changed his mind. The night before Costume Day, TJ had sat on his bed, typing and re-typing messages to Cyrus, finger hovering over the call button as he tried to figure out what to tell Cyrus. How would he explain why he wanted to bail on _his own_ costume idea for a lame costume with Kira? That was why TJ hadn’t told Cyrus before Costume Day. But, now that he was trying to make things up to Cyrus, he was stuck in the same situation. How would he explain why he wanted to bail for a lame costume with Kira? TJ trusted Cyrus more than anyone else in his life and he knew that Cyrus would accept him if he told Cyrus he was gay. But would their friendship change? TJ really didn’t want their friendship to change.

            On the other hand, there was nothing else he could tell Cyrus that would make sense. The muffin timer dinged, and it was like the ding knocked an apology into TJ’s head, _Cyrus, I am so sorry about bailing on the costume with you and not telling you beforehand. I did it because I didn’t feel safe. Kira found out something that I didn’t want her to know, and I was worried that she would tell the school._ TJ hoped that those words would be enough to get Cyrus to forgive him as he pulled the muffins out of the oven and started testing them with a toothpick. He decided he’d only tell Cyrus what Kira discovered if he asked. Hopefully he wouldn’t, but TJ knew that Cyrus was naturally a very curious person, so he wasn’t counting on it. The muffins were done, so he put them on a cooling rack and put out a note telling his parents not to touch them. They were for Cyrus, not for anyone else, TJ didn’t even taste test one. That night, TJ went to bed feeling nervous for how tomorrow would go, but also feeling hopeful that he and Cyrus might make up.

            TJ woke up to the sound of his alarm clock blaring and the sun shining bright through his window. He thought that the world was entirely too cheery for a day that could make or break his friendship with Cyrus. After TJ got ready for the day, he headed downstairs and carefully placed the muffins into a tupperware. Thankfully, his family had obeyed his note and hadn’t touched them. TJ could feel the dread building in his stomach as he walked to school. What if Cyrus didn’t accept TJ’s apology? What if TJ couldn’t find Cyrus today? TJ went through all of the ways that today could go wrong, even though he knew that wasn’t a good way to use his energy. He couldn’t help it, he missed Cyrus with his entire being.

            When TJ arrived at the school, the tupperware felt like it weighed a ton, the dread in his stomach had grown to an all-time high, and he had forgotten everything he wanted to say to Cyrus. Despite all of this, TJ walked quickly through the hallways, trying to find Cyrus. He had gotten to school half an hour early just so he could do this, there was no way he was backing out now.

            TJ searched the entire school until he saw Cyrus sitting at a picnic table in the courtyard. Cyrus was sitting alone, staring at his phone, making the same expression that TJ had seen on Costume Day, which made TJ’s heart shatter even further. He swallowed his fears and burst into the courtyard with determination.

            Cyrus looked up as TJ entered the courtyard, and somehow his expression became sadder. Cyrus moved to start picking up his stuff so that he could leave, and TJ panicked because Cyrus couldn’t leave, at least not before TJ got to apologize to him. “Wait,” TJ squeaked out, voice sounding strangled as he ran up to Cyrus, holding the muffins out for Cyrus to take, “These are for you, I’m so sorry. If I could go back in time and change what I did I would,” TJ rushed out, still holding the muffins while Cyrus stared skeptically at them.

            “So, let me get this straight,” Cyrus started, looking TJ in the eye. TJ could see Cyrus’ rage building. He didn’t think that he’d ever seen Cyrus angry before, “ _You_ come up with a costume idea, _you_ invite me to do the costume _with you_ , the costume is an _inside joke_ that _we_ share, and _you_ decide to do a costume with Kira. _Then_ you don’t tell me that you _changed_ costume partners, and let _me_ show up to _school_ dressed as _salt_ , with the simple answer of ‘I’m sorry, I should’ve called,’ and _now_ you show up with _muffins_ and a _lame apology_ , and you expect me to _accept it_?” TJ could feel the rage coming off of Cyrus in waves and vaguely thought to himself that anyone who ever said Cyrus wasn’t intimidating was very wrong.

            TJ looked down at his shoes, unable to face Cyrus’ unwavering glare anymore, “Cyrus, your feelings right now are totally valid. I hate me too for what I did to you. I am so sorry about bailing on the costume with you and not telling you beforehand. I don’t want to make excuses, because I know that you deserve better, but I need you to know that I bailed because I didn’t feel safe. Kira found out something that I didn’t want her to know, and I was worried that she would tell the school. You don’t have to forgive me, and,” TJ paused to swallow the emotion that was building in his voice, he could feel tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, “And if you never want to talk to me again, I’ll understand, and I’ll try to stay away from you. But you should know that I _never_ intended to hurt you. I’ve _never_ wanted to hurt you, and I’ll _never_ forgive myself for the way that I made you feel. Your friendship means so much to me Cyrus, and I would do anything to make this up to you,” TJ finished, tears threatening to fall as he glanced up to see what Cyrus was thinking.

            The rage that had pooled behind Cyrus’ eyes seemed to be seeping away. Cyrus’ face at the current moment could be best described as ‘processing’. TJ watched silently and rubbed his eyes with one of his hands to get rid of the tears that were still threatening to fall without dropping the muffins. He hoped that Cyrus knew he meant every word he said.

            Gradually, Cyrus’ face morphed into one of tentative concern, as if he was worried about TJ, but still unsure if he wanted to be TJ’s friend again, “What did Kira find out that made you feel unsafe,” Cyrus asked carefully, finally taking the muffins from TJ’s hands and TJ knew that he was, at least partially, forgiven.

            Unfortunately, Cyrus had asked the one question that TJ had hoped he wouldn’t. TJ started to nervously tug on the bottom of his shirt, “She found out that…” TJ trailed off and quickly searched the courtyard to see if anyone else was outside or if any of the windows were open, then he sat down at the picnic table, and gestured for Cyrus to do the same. As Cyrus sat down, TJ leaned close to him and whispered, “She found out that… I’m gay. And I was worried that she would tell the school. And it’s not like I’m ashamed of it, but I really want it to be my choice who I tell and when,” TJ finished quietly, and leaned back, refusing to look at Cyrus. He knew that Cyrus was a very supportive person, but part of him still feared that he might see a look of disgust on Cyrus’ face.

            “Oh… TJ,” Cyrus said sympathetically, as he grabbed TJ’s hand. TJ’s heart rate spiked at the action, “I’m… so sorry that you had to go through that alone,”

            TJ felt like he was going to get whiplash from this conversation changing tones so many times, “No, Cyrus I’m apologizing to you, you did nothing wrong!” TJ said, shaking his head.

            “TJ, I jumped to conclusions and left you in a time of need! I am the one who should be sorry,” Cyrus said, and TJ was struck by how stupid it was that they were arguing about who should be sorry.

            “Cyrus, I left you alone on Costume Day with no explanations. Your reaction was natural, and you are not the one who I was worried would out me. So, can we stop arguing about who should be sorry now? _I_ am sorry that _I_ hurt you and didn’t let you know about Costume Day. Will you forgive me? Can we be friends again?” TJ asked calmly, blushing when he realized that they were still holding hands.

            “Okay TJ, I forgive you. And… for the record? I _totally_ understand how Kira knowing that about you made you change costumes. I _completely_ , one hundred percent, _understand_ ,” Cyrus said, squeezing TJ’s hand and looking meaningfully into TJ’s eyes.

            TJ took a second to comprehend what Cyrus was saying, and then his eyes widened, “Wait, you mean… you are too?” TJ asked excitedly, holding Cyrus’ hand tightly as butterflies started flying happily in his stomach.

            Cyrus laughed at that and leaned close to TJ, looking him in the eyes, “Yes TJ, I’m gay too,” Cyrus said quietly, before leaning back. Their hands were still intertwined and that, along with Cyrus’ confession, gave TJ the courage to do something he never thought he would do.

            “So…” TJ started quietly, stroking his thumb on the back of Cyrus’ hand. He saw Cyrus blush, and knew that this probably wasn’t going to be a mistake, “What do you think the chances of me getting my best friend back and getting a boyfriend in the same day are?” TJ asked, looking at Cyrus hopefully. TJ hoped that Cyrus understood that he wanted Cyrus to be his boyfriend.

            Cyrus bit his lip and blushed, glancing down before making eye contact with TJ, “I’d say your chances are pretty good,” Cyrus said, squeezing TJ’s hand gently, as if to say, ‘I get what you’re saying, but please say the words’.

            TJ blushed, taking the hint, “Cyrus, will you do me the honour of being my boyfriend?” TJ asked.

            Cyrus bit his lip, trying to hold back his smile, “Yes TJ, I’d love to be your boyfriend,” Cyrus said quietly, beaming at TJ as he gave TJ’s hand another squeeze, as if to ground TJ and let him know that this actually happened. TJ gave Cyrus’ hand a squeeze back in response. They sat there quietly, revelling in each others presence until the warning bell rang. As they let go of each other’s hands to go to their separate classes, TJ couldn’t help but think that all of the worrying was worth it. And, after they started walking away, TJ looked back at Cyrus, meeting Cyrus’ eyes. TJ smiled at Cyrus and realized that he had never felt more content in his entire life.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually had such a hard time coming up with this because I have literally no idea how the show is going to approach this, but eventually I was struck by inspiration which was that when I was 13/14 I used to bake when I was feeling really stressed out, so I decided that TJ also does this, cause... why not?
> 
> You can follow me on tumblr (and send me prompts) if you want, its the same as it is on here ( justkimberley ). I hope you enjoyed, please kudos/comment if you want to, I love getting them!


End file.
